Dear Mr. Reading Teacher,

I'm glad that you bring your class to the library. I like that you have your students create so many projects and learn about so many things. I'm very appreciative that you've stopped telling them "All you have to do is copy and paste from the website into your presentation."

I really wish, however, that you would not just wander out of the library, leaving me alone with your 10-25 middle school brats from hell. I understand sometimes you have to talk to a student outside, or take care of important school paperwork. But the least you could do is let me know before you step out (as I do for you) so I can be aware that I have no backup when dealing with the MSBFH. And so I can tell people, when they need me to do my job, which sometimes requires *gasp* leaving the library, that I can't leave right now, because I'm trying (and failing) to keep your little darlings from visiting Bebo or printing their project seven times because it didn't immediately spit out of the printer when they pressed the button.

kthanxbai

P.S. Suxxor

Overheard in the library #1

"Benjamin Franklin is black!"

I am a softie

There is a particular special ed student who is often a problem. He has to be told several times to do things; he will deliberately act up or break rules in order to get sent to "boot camp" where his favorite teacher works.

He came in to the library today to give me a hug, then he went to his class with no complaints. My heart just melted.

Sometimes I forget how starved these kids are for any kind of positive attention.

I hate testing....

....so much.

That is all.

Librarian superpowers

Saw this comic and it got me thinking about a discussion Tori and I once had, about experiences I'm pretty sure are common to all librarians. What inevitably happens is, we will be out among the shelves, away from our computer with the catalog on it, or even elsewhere in the building, and people will ask us "Do you have any books about (Catholicism, electricity, Europe)?" or "Where are the books about (drawing, dogs, cancer)?" Now granted, librarians should know their collection, but my collection is pushing 3,000 volumes (yeah, I know, it's a paltry number, but even that few are hard to keep up with). I can't remember every single title we own. This is why we invented cataloging. Unfortunately, when I'm, say, out in the main room of the library or even *gasp* outside of the library altogether, I don't have the catalog at my fingertips, and I have to say "Let me go look that up for you."

It's like they expect me to say, "Oh yes. One green book, call number 315.23 (randomly generated), located on the fourth bookcase to the right, second shelf down, first book on the shelf." Like I can turn on my LibrarianVision(tm) and see the book they're looking for glow, or wave at me, or do a little dance.

My librarian sense is tingling!

These not workin'?

Shortly after taking this job (last September), I noticed a problem with one of the computers. The monitor would spontaneously go into hibernation at random times, although the computer was still turned on. I connected another monitor to the computer; same problem. A work order was put in, and the District tech who eventually came to look at it confirmed that the problem was with the computer, not the monitor. Apparently, the video card (which was an onboard one integrated into the motherboard) only sends signals intermittently; also apparently, this problem is a common one among the computers who received motherboards from that "batch." This becomes evident when two other computers begin showing the same symptoms. Work orders were duly put in the system for them as well.

Last week, someone finally came to take the computers away for repairs. As the original one finally refused to be finangled into any semblance of working order, I had gotten a replacement for it, so I'm only down by two computers. However, in the absence of those two, I have noticed an alarming trend.

Students will sit down in the chair, in front of the monitor, keyboard, and mouse, which are not hooked up to anything. Some can take a hint, based on the fact that the monitors are not turned on, unlike the monitors around them which happen to be actually attached to actual, working computers. Some take it upon themselves to turn on the monitors before realizing their mistake. Still more, after going through the previous steps, will turn to me, and, in affronted tones, ask the dreaded question.

"These not workin'?"

I have heard this question from both teachers and students, and I am seriously considering printing out large signs to the effect of "Since there is NO COMPUTER anywhere near this monitor, you will NOT be able to magically use it (dumbass)." Probably without the profanity, but you never know. I realize I could remove the keyboards, mice, and/or monitors, but I'd just have to put them back once the computers return. Besides, it's a quick way of sorting out the not so bright from the truly dim.

And it just keeps coming....

Now, instead of musical classrooms, it's musical classes. See, one of our middle school math teachers is going to start teaching between 5-10 eighth grade special ed students all day, all their subjects. So I had to take back her sixth & seventh grade math textbooks and workbooks and get her some eighth grade textbooks for, oh, ALL THE OTHER SUBJECTS. Fortunately for my sanity she only wanted 10 of each for now.

So it looks like the textbooks on my desk are breeding, because what with one thing and the other yesterday, I didn't have any time to work on getting them checked back in.

I spoke too soon....

Once again, we play musical classrooms. The high-school dean was working with the boot camp students, but for some reason one of the middle school reading teachers is now being tapped to cover it. The reading teacher. (very sensibly) doesn't want anything happening to the textbooks she checked out, and is responsible for, while her classroom sits empty. So she decides to bring them to me to be checked back in. I have a brand new cityscape of textbooks and workbooks growing on top of my desk. Can I get workman's comp if I'm injured by a falling pile of textbooks?